I may be wrong, but I don’t see many folk wringing their hands over the world ending on December 21. I’m not riding the wave in that shallow doomsday wading pool. But what if they’re right? Holy jingle bells. We’ve only got 12-13 days left.
Let me share a bit of history that you weren’t taught in school. This should erase worries and enable you to enjoy the remaining two weeks of life on this ball of dirt.
Ah Puch, the Chief Mayan Calender Maker, organized his union buddies to strike for more corn for their calendar carving duties. Collectivism, even in their day, bred an entitlement class. They figured out that together they could shut down the calendar kiosks at the local market – just in time for the festive holiday season. What modern, progressive thinking Mayan would stand for not having a current 645 stone calendar hanging in their thatched hut? The cupcake editions were wildly popular in 644.
So it began. Chisels in hand, they marched holding heavy picket signs. The best sign read, “Will CARVE For CORN!“
At first, this was no threat to Pakal The Great and the Palenque dynasty. But the rebellion began to spread. Ixtab, his lovely queen, reminded him at a royal dinner of the wise words of his ruling predecessor and mom, Lady Sak K’uk’. Ixtab leaned in and whispered in hushed tones, “Remember, Government equals force. Crush these useful idiots. We’re in charge.“
With that, Pakal The Great ordered the round-up of these rabble-rousers. The human sacrifice pool was getting low anyhow.
A decade later, a remnant of tablet carvers remained. Etched in their mind and on secret pocket tablets were the accounts of blood on the altar of their king. “Never Forget – December 21, 655″. A day that would cause much freaking out 1,356 years down the road. The day Mayan tricksters ran out of room on their stone calendars.
Doing the stuff,