How to Make Fire at Camp FEMA

by Todd Walker

Before you try to make a FEMA Camp fire, you need to be of sound mind, not stupid, drunk, or indoors. This technique is for emergency use only. Any reasonably prepared person should have other fire starting methods at their disposal.

But then again, if you’re reasonably prepared, you won’t be staying at Camp FEMA!

I’ve adapted this idea which came from a close friend who spent a few years in a facility similar to Camp FEMA – state prison. He and his convict friends called this a Chain Gang fire. It came in handy to light cigarettes when their contraband lighters died. Prisoners are very resourceful like that!

Imagine being a guest at Camp FEMA. The basics would be provided – or maybe not. But I’m sure you can acquire a pencil and toilet paper. And you’ll probably have electricity in your FEMA zone camp. That’s all you need to make your cozy little FEMA Camp fire.

FEMA Camp Fire

How to Make Fire at Camp FEMA

Add toilet paper for fire!

Split the pencil with a knife or your teeth. On a side note, I had a student who could remove an entire, intact lead from his sharpened #2 pencil a year ago without destroying the wooden sheath. A talented young man indeed!!




Break two pieces of lead (graphite) about an inch long. The longest portion will be used to ignite your toilet paper or napkin.



Insert one of the short pieces into an electrical outlet. I did mention not to try this if you’re stupid, right? Okay. Just making sure.

Now insert the other short piece in the other side of the receptacle. The lead should stick out of the receptacle high enough to make contact with your cross-piece.

Wrap a piece of napkin or TP around the middle of your longer cross-piece of lead. Twist the paper tight without breaking the cross-piece.


The paper has to be twisted narrowly around the lead so that the cross-piece makes contact with the two pieces stuck in the receptacle.

Brace for a flash!

Carefully touch both short pieces with the cross-piece while holding only the twisted paper.

How to Make Fire at Camp FEMA

Congratulations! You’ve just made your first FEMA Camp fire!!

You can use the FEMA fire for cooking, warmth, or to affect your escape.

Disclaimer: Burning an open fire indoors is a good way to die. Being stupid while playing with fire and electricity can burn down your house and kill you too.

Hope this was somewhat helpful. Now you have another fire starting method in your kit. You can never have enough options for making fire!

Keep Doing the Stuff,


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Categories: Doing the Stuff | Tags: , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “How to Make Fire at Camp FEMA

  1. Thanks, Todd! I laughed right through the whole post!


  2. Pingback: Julie's Weekly Roundup 3.15.14 - Home Ready Home

  3. I LOVE it, brother! Let’s just hope the stupid people are smart enough to know they’re too stupid to try this!😉


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